


The One With The Avengers

by JonasDarkbloom



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Superfamily (Marvel), The Avengers but as a reality show, cheesy title I know lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-27 14:49:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15687594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JonasDarkbloom/pseuds/JonasDarkbloom
Summary: The Avenger R.S aka The Avengers Reality Show. Day to day lives of the Avengers doing weird things. Bucky and Tony fights, Peter Parker's pajamas, and Bucky as the new Siri. It's like Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but better.





	1. Meetings & Drive Throughs

**Author's Note:**

> Something goofy I came up with. The italics are the individual characters talking to the camera as if they were in a reality show.

“Rise and shine, lesbians!” Tony shouted through the microphone in the living room, which immediately blasted through all the 10 jumbo speakers he set up. The blinding noise instantly caused the whole building to shake, which in turn, caused each and every member in the Avengers Tower to instantly wake up.

 

“TONY!” Bucky yelled as he stomped down the stairs, “STEVE AND I WERE SLEEPING!”

 

Tony busted out laughing, seeing Bucky in his red silk pajamas with a matching silk cover. Bucky glared at the other man, while Steve stood behind him, half awake and half still sleeping, about to fall on the floor.

 

_Bucky: See, that’s the thing about Tony. He makes us wake up at 5 am everyday. Who does that?!_

 

“Did someone say lesbians?” Thor asks, coming down the stairs.

 

“What’s going on?” Clint questions, rubbing his eyes. Natasha and Bruce were right behind him, almost tripping on their way down.

 

“I think we need to have a meeting. Now.” Bucky says, and everyone groans out of annoyance.

 

_Steve: Every Wednesday, the whole team gets together and they share their complaints._

 

“Mhmmmhm,” Thor clears his voice and reads from his paper, “Will everyone please stop complaining about the dead animals I bring home every night? And also, please put the cap back on after you’re done with the milk. It’s annoying.”

 

They were all seated at the large table where meetings were held at.

 

“Okay, anyone else?” Steve asks, looking around the room and noticing everyone’s tired faces. “Peter?”

 

Peter puts down his Fifty Shades of Grey and goes up to stand in front of everyone.

 

“Will people please not make fun of my Mjolnir pajamas? If you’re gonna use the bathroom, then please use Febreeze when you’re done,” Peter side eyes Bruce, “And the strange muffling noises coming out from my closet is not anyone’s business.”

 

“Anyone else?” Steve asks.

 

“I got one,” Tony stands up, “Tell Terminator over here to stop chugging all the vodka.”

 

Bucky quickly gets up, “Hey!”

 

“Don’t fight guys, your scheduled fight isn’t until 4:35 pm.” Clint says, checking his watch.

 

“He wants a fight, he’ll get a fight,” Bucky retorts.

 

“Just don’t bring up Tony’s mother,” Natasha nonchalantly says.

 

Commotion sparks in the room. Tony leaps over the table and tackles Bucky. Thor laughs, grabbing the popcorn, while Steve yells “Don’t touch my Bucky!”.

 

_Steve: Yeah, Bucky and Tony are great friends! Everyone here gets along so well!_

 

~5 hours later~

 

“Guess who's jobfull now?” Bucky says, coming from the elevator.

 

“I thought I told you to buy the groceries,” Clint says.

 

“Buying a pack of Trident gum and a bottle of Whiskey does _not_ equal groceries,” Bucky retorts while Clint rolls his eyes, “Anyways, I ran into my parole officer at the park and he said his Uncle’s dog’s babysitter’s housemaid’s brother in law works as the vice assistant to the assistant for the technician at Apple and they’re looking for someone to be the new Siri!”

 

_Bucky: I’ve always wanted a job. I worked for this guy once, but he trapped me in the closet in his house and said he needed my kidneys. Thor had to sneak in through the window but he ended up in the guy’s daughter’s room and she chased him out with a potted plant._

 

~At McDonalds~

 

Tony, Bruce, and Peter were all in Tony’s car at the drive thru of McDonalds.

 

“We’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes, are they gonna come talk to us orrr???” Peter says, crossing his arms.

 

“I wanna get the triple patty burger _so_ bad.” Bruce says, his stomach groaning.

 

“Relax children, the employees will talk to us when they’re ready,” Tony says.

 

“What’s that on the menu?” Peter asks, and they all turn to look at the menu. “The one on the right.”

 

“That says **_Closed For Today_ ** ,” Tony says. A silence falls upon them.

“That sound delicious.” Peter states, mouth watering.

 

“Ooh, I wanna get the one that says **_Open Tomorrow_ **.” Tony adds.

 

“Yum.”

 

~A Few Hours Later~

 

_Steve: So Bucky’s Siri just came out, and I’m so excited to test it out._

 

“Hey, Bucky,” Steve says to his phone, “What’s the weather for today.”

 “I don’t know, why didn’t you come look for me when I fell off the train?”

 

“Hey, Bucky,” Clint says, “Are you able to schedule upcoming events?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Okay, schedule the babysitter at-”  
  
“No.”

 

“Bucky,” Thor says, “Loki called me fat. Am I fat?”

“Just 20 pounds overweight.”

 

“Hey, Bucky,” Tony says, “Tell me a joke.”  
  
“Stark Industries.”

 

_Bucky: The team loves it._


	2. Slumber & Parties

 

“I have an idea.” Tony states.

 

“I hate it.” Bucky quickly adds, not even letting a second slip after Tony spoke.

  
“But you don’t even know what it is!” Tony says, frowning.

 

“I know.” Bucky replies in a monotone voice, sipping from his scolding hot coffee.

 

_Tony: Me and Clint were talking, and we decided that the team needed a little bonding time. So we decided to have a slumber party._

 

It was night time, and all the Avengers were all in the living room, the whole floor covered in fluffy and abnormally large amount of blankets and pillows.

 

“Let’s start with some team bonding. I’ll assign two people together and tell each other what you like about them!” Clint says happily, assigning partners to everyone.

 

“Okay,” Peter says, turning to Thor, “I hate that you put the spoons and forks on the top rack on the dishwasher.”

  
“I thought we were telling each other something we liked about the other person?” Thor asks, frowning.

 

“I know. It’s more fun this way.”

 

“Oh, Natasha,” Stephen says while smiling, “where do I begin?”

 

Natasha lights up and she smiles back.

 

“Oh! I know!” Stephen states, then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper.

 

“When you’re using the bathroom, at least lock it; wouldn’t want another incident like last month. Please never use a face mask and just wait in the kitchen in the dark until someone opens the lights to terrify them again, please. There’s fifteen more. . .”  
  
Bucky and Tony were glaring at each other. They were partners and didn’t feel like being so nice to the other.

 

“Tony, Buck, you actually _have_ to talk to each other in order to do this training,” Steve says, sitting down on the floor with them.

 

“Fine, I’ll start.” Bucky huffs, “I, uh, I guess, I like the red on your suit.”

 

Tony chuckles, “I like the red on your suit too.”  


“What red?” Bucky asks, frowning.

 

Tony picks up his tea and sips, “The blood from your victims.”

 

“YOU LITTLE-” Bucky shouts as he lunges at Tony, tackling him to the ground.

 

~  A Few Minutes Later ~

 

“Okay, since the last training didn’t work out so well, we have a new one,” Clint says. Bucky and Tony were sitting on far sides of the living room. Tony was wiping the spilled tea off his pajamas, while Bucky sat cross legged on the floor while crossing his arms and glaring at the floor.

 

“It’s charades!” Clint happily says.

 

“I don’t have that app,” Peter replies. Clint looks at him in a “what the fuck????” way.

 

Clint shakes his head, snapping back from his imagination of brutally slapping the younger child, “No, it’s a game. You think of a word and you try to tell everyone else the word only using actions and not talking!”  


“Who wants to g-”

 

“I’ll go.” Natasha says, cutting Clint off. She stands up from the floor and walks to the middle of the room.

 

~5 minutes later~

 

“A tree!”

 

“A lamp post!”

 

“A statue!”

  
Natasha was just standing there on the spot, not moving, as the other Avengers called out various words.

 

_Natasha: I wasn’t doing anything. I don't even know how to play this game. I just wanted to see how long it would take for these idiots to catch on._

 

“Natasha, you actually have to be doing something in order to make this work,” Steve tells her, which Natasha doesn’t reply to.

 

“I think she’s doing great.” Bruce kindly states. All the Avengers turn their heads at him in complete disbelief, mouths hanging open.

 

“Bruce, calm down, buddy!” Tony says, completely shocked from Bruce’s attitude.

 

“I didn’t say anythi-”

 

“It’s what you **_didn’t_ ** say.” Thor hisses, crossing his arms, glaring at him.

 

“But I didn’t-”

 

“ **You. Said. Enough**.” Strange says, interrupting him.

 

_Natasha: Bruce needs to chill. He’s literally so rude to everyone._

 

_Bruce: I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about!_

 

“So what have we learned today?” Clint asks.

 

“That Tony’s a piece of shit.” Bucky quickly states, crossing his arms.

 

A silence falls upon them, no one defending Tony, causing the man to frown.

 

 _Clint: Don’t get me wrong, Tony’s amazing. But he once stole my sandwich when my name was clearly written on the wrapper in bold._ **_*crosses arms*_ ** _It’s what he deserves._

 

~Minutes Later~

 

“Mr. Stark, don’t get mad,” Peter says, coming up to the man standing in the kitchen looking for more of Clint’s sandwiches to eat.

 

“What?” Tony asks.

 

“You know that diamond watch you let me borrow?”  
  
“NO!” Tony shouts, frowning as he never recalled giving his protegee a watch.

 

“Okay, I was looking at it and uh, I dropped it-”

 

“In the toilet?!” Tony yells, cutting off the teen and running towards the stairs up to his private bathroom.

 

“. . . on the floor and broke the screen.” Peter whispers, watching the older man running away.

 

_Peter: I figured I’d wait an hour before telling him._

 

“Want to do a face mask?” Natasha asks Bucky, pulling out her basket of assorted face masks.

 

“Ew, why would I want another face?” Bucky asks in a monotone voice.

 

Natasha stares at him for a second, “Do you not know what a face mask is?”

 

“Of course I know what a face mask is,” Bucky huffs, “It’s where you put on another face, duh.”

 

Natasha squinted at the 100 year old man. Her mind was racing and contemplating whether to slap him or slap him twice.

 

~ Two Hours Later ~

 

“Hey, Steve, want to get an Instagram?” Peter asks the older man, sitting next to him on the couch.

 

“No thanks, I don’t do drugs.” Steve replies, eyes focused on the tv.

 

“It’s not a drug. It’s an app, I’ll make an account for you,” Peter states, creating an account.

 

“Hey, Pete, can you get me some tea?” Steve asks.

 

“Sure,” Peter replies, “Wanda’s sleeping with Thor.”

 

Steve whips his head to him in complete shock, jaw dropping on the floor.

 

It took a second before realization his Peter.

 

“Oh! You meant a cup of tea!” Peter says, getting up, “I’ll get you some.”  


Steve watched Peter walk away, still in disbelief with eyes wide open.

 

_Peter: Oops._

 

Bucky ripped open the packet and took out the sheet mask. After two full hours, Natasha explained to Bucky that a face mask was not in fact a face skinned off of someone else and put on for entertainment.

 

“So. . .  do just unfold it?” Bucky asks as the mask’s juices dripping down on the floor.

 

Just then, they heard stomping noises, and turned towards the stairs. Tony walked down, hair completely wet, clothes soaked in water, with a plunger in his left hand. Everyone busted out laughing, some falling on the floor from too much laughter, some gripping their stomachs, some grabbing their left boobs.

 

“ **You.** ” Tony menacingly says, pointing his plunger at Peter who was wiping the tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes.

 

Tony started marching towards him, which caused Peter to immediately run far away from the man. Tony chased him, around the sofa, kitchen island, and over and under furniture. However, Tony cornered Peter, and as Tony stomped towards him, Peter ran head straight towards the window. He crashed into the window, shattering it, and falling while yelling “YEET” and immediately releasing spider webs before he could fall 100 stories to his death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want me to write more, then please leave a kudos and comment down below what your favorite part was !!!


End file.
